Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
