LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
