The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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