Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
