I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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