Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
