My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
