coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
