You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize