At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
