On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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