i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
