I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
only you would photoshop your dick
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Boobs are out for the taking
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
