69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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