If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
