there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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