You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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