Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
