Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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