All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
