I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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