I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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