no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
