apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
