Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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