Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
