I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
