angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
