My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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