Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
