so that wasnt chicken after all
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
