Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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