Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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