I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
