I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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