Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
