I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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