I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
