got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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