I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just had sex on a roof
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize