the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize