He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
