it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
