i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize