I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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