me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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