I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
