We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
