marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
