ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
