And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
too bad you live with your parents still
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
