Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
