I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
