maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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