The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
