umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
