her vagine was all disorganized.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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