I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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