Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
