I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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