If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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