I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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