"it" just moved
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Everclear isn't food dammit
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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