Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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