You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize